Sleep is overrated. Let's go camping! Part 1

In keeping with our usual style of trying to please everyone and cramming the most possible fun into a single weekend, we went on not just one, but two camping trips last weekend. Friday started off by waking up early at 1:00 PM (I've been working graves) and packing up the truck.

I decided to check the engine oil on the truck since we would have a long weekend ahead of us and discovered, to my limitless delight, that it had no oil in it. My lovely Ford had used five quarts of oil since the last oil change, which wasn't that long ago. Even black folk who eat nothing but fried chicken don't consume that much oil in that short of time. A quick trip to AutoZone and an oil change later and we were off like a prom dress. We headed to Yuba Lake for the Pontious family reunion. When we arrive in the arid wasteland known as Painted Rock, it was easily over one hundred degrees and there were no trees in sight. But that's ok, right? We were, after all, at a lake were we could swim about and escape the summer's heat. To our dismay, Yuba Lake was in the middle of some sort of algal bloom rendering the water green, slimy and stinky.

The high note of the evening was a scrumptious meal of cheeseburgers and corn-on-the-cob. I would have gone to sleep feeling satsfied with a belly full of corn and cow, but Lily decided that sleep was not an acceptable activity. She woke constantly throughout the night and made sure Chrissy and I were acutely aware of it. She slept for a little while nestled between Chrissy and me, but then ruptured her diaper and soaked our sleeping bag. Mmm. I love urine, but not at much as Calvin and Grandma Nancy do.

That morning, after we exited the tent (I won't say woke up, since we never really slept,) Calvin and Lily went to visit Grandma Nancy in her camper. Calvin found a SoBe bottle on the table and asked if he could have a drink. After he reported that it tasted funny, Grandma Nancy also tasted it to confirm its unpleasantness. Only then was it discovered that during the night, Papa Coach had found the journey to the out house far too daunting and, in a moment of environmentally friendly thought, opted to refill the SoBe bottle with used SoBe. We have not told Calvin what it was he ingested and would prefer that you also refrain from doing so.